Reflecting on the moment I enrolled in the training program, I was filled with inner struggle and confusion. I was used to relying on myself, chasing achievements and success, because in the family I grew up in, my father made it clear: only those who make money are good children. As a result, I learned early on to prove my worth through work and financial success. However, God led me down a completely different path—one that required me to slow down and embrace a quieter life.
Growing up in an environment where being a "good child" meant doing well and getting noticed shaped me deeply. Whether as an employee or an entrepreneur, I constantly used "doing" to prove my value. I believed that only by doing well could I make my parents proud and earn recognition from authority figures. Yet, this way of living left me exhausted.
It wasn’t until six months into the training program that I realized how drained I had become, both mentally and spiritually. I had been relying on my own strength, pushing myself to perfection, and never truly depending on God. I was working like a servant, without cultivating a true relationship with Him.
I am grateful for the lessons I received at the training program, especially in the "Tree of Life" course. The teachers guided me to live out "being"—to be my true self, instead of constantly striving through "doing" to meet others' expectations. This led me to question: Who am I working so hard for? Is it to fulfill myself, or to be accepted by others?
During our church anniversary, the pastor taught us how to rest in God’s hands and align with Him. I finally understood that God brought me into the program at just the right time so that I could let go of my own efforts, connect with Him, and receive His values for my life, allowing me to live out the abundance of the Tree of Life.
I’ve also come to realize that God has given each person a unique "being." When we rely on our "being" rather than constantly striving through "doing," we don’t feel exhausted or pressured. Despite my talents for planning, managing, and organization, I often struggled with self-doubt and dissatisfaction. But now, I believe that when God created us, He saw us as good. He doesn’t need me to prove my worth through endless tasks; He simply desires a daughter who fully trusts Him and enjoys life.
Gratitude and Renewal
I am deeply grateful for the training program, which gave me the opportunity to relearn and grow. Thanks to the affirmation and support of the teachers, I was chosen to serve as the class leader this year. I believe this is a wonderful opportunity to learn how to "do" less and "be" more, and to live out my authentic self.
I have also felt immense support from my spiritual companions in the program. In the past, I was shy and would quickly leave church after services, but here, I’ve experienced a sense of belonging to a spiritual family that fills my heart with joy.
God’s grace has also been evident in unexpected ways. Despite financial limitations, I was able to travel to two different countries—India for a short-term mission and Hong Kong for a church conference. Previously, even while working, I never had such opportunities within a year.
One of the greatest blessings is that, after five years of reluctance, my boyfriend finally joined a small group, and with no resistance. I see this as a beautiful gift from God, made possible through the program.
Through the assignments, morning prayers, and devotionals, I have become more closely aligned with the church and more deeply connected with God and my pastors. I am living within the spiritual flow and nourishment of the church, growing and bearing fruit in season.
Looking back, I realize that I carried many wounds and wrong values from my family of origin. But the time I spent in the training program has brought significant breakthroughs and changes in my relationship with God, in my own life, and in my understanding of relationships and values. I look forward to continuing this journey, immersed in God’s love, growing, and living out a life full of vitality.
